Zach, Kacie, Bailey & Addison

2011-11-03T21:44:00.001-07:00

Self Righteous Pedestal

2011-10-23T11:29:00.001-07:00

Here I stand before you
Searching for answers
To questions I cannot perceive
Trying earnestly to comprehend
The bitterness in your heart
The absence of humility in your soul
How you amuse yourself
Believing that disingenuous
Acts of goodness
Will somehow prevent the world
From seeing you for who you truly are
Why you work so diligently
To hold others back
To set up obstacles and landmines
Only to make yourself feel better
For only a soul that can never be trusted
Will find it impossible to trust another
Why should I swim against the currents
To satisfy your illusions of peace
Watching you abuse
Your miniscule authority
Lie, cheat, and deceive
Yet stand on your self righteous pedestal
As the self appointed keeper of this castle
Here I stand before you
Free of all the bitterness that consumes you
Free of all the pettiness that inspires you
And ultimately, free of all the poison
That will one day come back to destroy you

Create Date

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Mustafa Marconi

The perfect friend...

2011-10-14T10:35:00.001-07:00

THE PERFECT FRIEND

Today I found a friend
who knew everything I felt.
She knew my weakness
and the problems I've been dealt.

She understood my wonders
and listened to my dreams,
She listened to how I felt about life and love
and knew what it all means.

Not once did she interrupt me
or tell me I was wrong
She understood what I was going through
and promised she'd stay long.

I reached out to this friend,
to show her that I care
to pull her close and let her know
how much I need her there.

I went to hold her hand
to pull her a bit nearer
and I realized this perfect friend I found
was nothing but a mirror.
© Shannen Wrass

Foolish friendship...

2011-10-05T10:40:00.001-07:00

Foolish Friendship

Today I stopped trying to be 'someone' for somebody who never thought of me as anyone appreciated and important to them.

Inside I know the space I had for them is now crushed and broken..

Let the facts be out in the open and the truth be spoken...

In time it will be for the best...although I feel an emptiness...knowing what I considered worthwhile..proved shallow and unreal.

I've learned sometimes emotions seem clearer than perception..and eventually can lead to a heartbreaking revelation that someone cherished proves that their friendship was in fact deception.

I cry tears of realization that once again I believed the lies that were in disguise and covered up...

Honesty was masked with coy flattery. Why was I so darn naive?

I can and will move on...but I won't forget I was forgot and actually believed a lie. Not a lie out of the mouth...but of the heart.

That piece of friendship is now many torn apart....

I mustn't be sorry for the encouragement and love I shared...because I know what I offered was itself a dare. A dare to let someone be a part of me...who didn't find a reason to care.

Moments like these are rare... moments that I feel what I felt to be 'nothing' now and bare.

Thanks for the lesson learned...and always remembered. You were a 'lucky' someone who successfully got a part of the best of me. Now I'll throw away the scattered and useless pieces and leave you be.

Source: Foolish Friendship - Loved And Lost, Lost Friend Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/foolish-friendship--loved-and-lost#ixzz1ZvjR91AU
Family Friend Poems

2011-09-04T22:52:00.001-07:00

A smile costs nothing, but gives much-
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it usually lasts forever.
None are so rich that can get along without it-
And none are so poor but that can be made rich by it.

It enriches those who receive, without making poor those who give-
It creates sunshine in the home,
Fosters good will in business,
And is the best antidote for trouble-
And yet it cannot be begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is of no value
Unless it is given away.

Some people are too busy to give you a smile-
Give them one of yours-
For the good Lord knows that no one needs a smile so badly
As he or she who has no more smiles left to give.

Karma.

2011-08-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Whatever you give away today
Or think or say or do
Will multiply about tenfold
And then return to you.

It may not come immediately
Nor from the obvious source,
But the LAW applies unfailingly
Through some invisible force.

Whatever you feel about another,
Be it love or hate or passion,
Will surely bounce right back to you
In some clear or secret fashion.

If you speak about some person,
A word of praise or two,
Soon tons of other people
Will speak kind words to you.

Our thoughts are broadcasts of the soul,
Not secrets of the brain.
Kind ones bring us happiness,
Petty ones, untold pain.

Giving works as surely as
Reflections in a mirror.
If hate you send, hate you'll get back,
But loving brings love nearer.

Remember, as you start this day,
And duty crowds your mind,
That kindness comes so quickly back,
To those who first are kind!

Let that thought and this one
Direct you through each day....
The only things we ever keep
Are the things we give away!

H.I.

2011-08-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

Too many years of your guilt and your games
Finally, freedom from your put downs and blame
Relief rises up, wings spreading, flying far
Leaving you; taking back my shattered heart

Rising into sunshine; finally breaking free
Taking deep, clean breaths; it’s okay to be me
Your sick games and lies will haunt me no more
Left your shackles behind, walked out your door

To stay sane and relevant in spite of you
Kept running away; years of fighting for truth
Your narcissistic insanity ruled all my thoughts
Seems all I am to you…is everything I’m not

I never lived up to your expectations or dreams
There simply was no way I could please the queen
I was your punching bag; a scapegoat to abuse
I know now that who you really hate…is you

God gave me pity for you, showed me the truth
To feel good you have to crush those around you
You have to elevate yourself because you’re weak
Still, I’m disgusted by you; by the havoc you wreak

Nothing will ever satisfy the monster inside you
I’m SO over your drama and trauma; yes, I am through
I’m done being your source of narcissistic supply
It’s over, I’m gone; good riddance, good-bye

7/29/2010

2011-07-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has already been a year, seems like it was just yesterday that you passed on. And yet, at the same time, it seems like it has been so much longer...So much has happened in the last year. So much has changed. So many people have changed, some for the better, some not so much.

There has been a lot of family drama. That is one of the times I missed you most. I always felt so comfortable talking to you, you never judged me. I could say anything to you and know that nothing I said could change how you saw me, or what you thought of me. You always loved me unconditionally, and my kids too.

So often I hear from friends and other family members on how much they hate their in-laws....(Most of the time the mother in law or the father in law...) I consider myself really lucky to be able to say I really loved my mother in law. I really enjoyed spending time with her. I enjoyed how excited my kids would get when I would tell them Nana was coming over. I loved watching her interact with my kids. Not many people can say that, but I'm really glad that I can.

And all those things that I loved the most about her, are the things I miss the most. Those are the things that still feel fresh like you just passed away yesterday. I know everyone says "it gets better with time." But I don't know if I agree with that. I don't think it ever gets better, I don't think it ever hurts any less, how much you miss them never changes. But somehow or another things just keep going. And you get to the point that you realize that you have to sort of let it go, not think about it all the time. Learn the right times to think about that person. Times when you can freely let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel. But so many people just tuck it away and never deal with it because its too hard or painful to think about.

It is hard to think about. I miss you a lot, A LOT. I would give anything to be able to spend one more Friday with you, anything to be able to tell my kids that nana is coming over to see them and play with them. But that's the cruel part of life, people get ripped away and that's it. But that is life.

I miss you Angela. I know your better off where you are. And your happy and free of any and every worry. So I'm happy for you, I'm happy that you are happy. It doesn't make it any easier for us back here who miss you, but that doesn't change my happiness for you. I love you. And Bailey and Addie love you.... And Zach, and Studley (He probably misses you the most, lol ;-)) Keep an eye on us, keep an eye on my kids. We'll see you again someday.........

Til then,
Kacie.......

The dog with the broken heart.

2011-06-09T08:31:00.001-07:00

It's funny how things pop up just when you need to hear them. As I read this story, it was almost as if I had written it.

Nobody wanted Little bit. The Chihuahua with the tiny black body and oversized ears had been my widowed mother;s constant companion for the past 15 years. But she was one of the few possessions Mother forgot to list in her who-gets-what-upon-my-death notebook. My brother Randy got the fishing boat. My sister Mandy got the Christmas China. I got the antique dining room table.

But nobody wanted Little bit. "I can't take her." Rusty said. "My dogs would eat her for an appetizer." He was right. Little bit would never survive in a family that owned a German shepherd and a doberman pincer. "I can't take her," Mandy said. "Nobody's home at my house during the day. She'd be too lonely." My siblings looked at me. "I don't want her." I said.

The words were scarcely out of my mouth before pictures of my mother flashed through my mind, She was standing at the stove frying chicken, with Little bit waiting patiently at her feet for the first bite. She was sitting in her recliner, watching Wheel of Fortune on TV, with Little bit snuggled on her lap. And the last pictures of Mother curled up in a hospital ed, cancer consuming her body.

Hand me my notebook," she'd say. "I need to write somethings down." Mother listed all the items of value in her house and to whom they should be given. She left out nothing, from screwdrivers to shrimp forks. Except for little bit. It wasn't as though she could have forgotten about her. We had smuggled the six-pound dog into her room several times. The reunions were always joyful and tear-filled. So why was mother reluctant to say who would inherit her best friend once she was gone? Perhaps because my mother already knew where little bit would end up.

By default, little bit came to live at my house. And everything I dreaded cam to pass. She jumped on the furniture, she tormented the cats, she yelped all night long. She behaved like a spoiled princess. "I don't know how much more of this i can take," I told a friend after two weeks. " I'm going to try to find her someplace else to live," But finding a new home for little bit was easier said than done. When inquirers called in response to the ad i had placed on the newspaper, I was honest about her shortcomings- perhaps too honest. An elderly dog that jumped on furniture, tormented cats, and yelped all night long was hard to sell. Nobody wanted little bit.

Late one afternoon, in my despair, i threw myself into my recliner and began to sob. Not only had I lost my mother, i was stuck with her little dog. The more i thought about the injustice of it all, the harder i cried. Until something plopped into my lap. A six-pound something with brown eyes that locked into mine. I scratched the top of little bits hear. And then she began to cry. Not tears, of course, but the most pitiful whimpering I had ever heard.

That's when it him me. little bit hadn't been behaving like a princess. She's been behaving like someone eaten up with grief. Someone who'd had the person she loved more than anyone snatched away from her. just like me.
"You miss mother don't you, girl?" I scratched her hear. "So do I. But you know what? We'll make it through this thing together You and me." I reached for the remote control . "How about we turn on wheel of fortune and see if that makes us feel better?" But little bit didn't answer. She was snuggled in my lap snoring.

Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.

2011-04-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

Bought myself a pair of these puppies! I'm excited to try them out :)

Day 8 – A song to match your mood.

2011-04-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koVHN6eO4Xg

Day 7 – Your dream wedding.

2011-04-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

Exactly.

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.

2011-04-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

Skipped day 5. I don't have any pictures on here of me from two years ago.

So here is the animal I would love to have as a pet, a great dane.

2011-04-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.

2011-04-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

Crayons...

2011-03-06T01:07:00.000-08:00

While walking in a toy store
The day before today,
I overheard a Crayon Box
With many things to say.
"I don't like red!" said Yellow.
And Green said, "Nor do I!
And no one here likes Orange,
But no one knows quite why."
"We are a box of crayons
that really doesn't get along,"
Said Blue to all the others.
"Something here is wrong!
Well, i bought that box of crayons
And took it home with me
And laid out all the crayons
So the crayons could all see
They watched me as I colored
With Red and Blue and Green
And Black and White and Orange
And every color in between
They watched as Green became the grass
And Blue became the sky.
The Yellow sun was shining bright
On White clouds drifting by.
Colors changing as they touched,
Becoming something new.
They watched me as I colored.
They watched till I was through.
And when I'd finally finished,
I began to walk away.
And as I did the Crayon box
Had something more to say...
"I do like Red!" said the Yellow
And Green said, "So do I!
And Blue you are terrific!
So high up in the sky."
We are a Box of Crayons
Each of us unique,
But when we get together
The picture is complete.

Day 2 –

2011-02-25T17:38:00.000-08:00

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.

Day 1 –

2011-02-24T16:21:00.001-08:00

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Today was a pretty lazy, uneventful day. Me and the girls are sick. :(

Other then that it was a pretty good day. Everyone has been in a pretty good mood today aside from the sniffles, coughing, fever, and sneezing.

30 days...

2011-02-24T16:19:00.000-08:00

So my friend Kaitlin is doing this on her blog...And I'm going to do it too.

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past.

Angela.

2011-02-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken, No time to say "Goodbye".
You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why.
My heart still aches with sadness, and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you - No one can ever know.

But now I know you want me to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times life still has much in store.
Since you'll never be forgotten, I pledge to you today~
A hollowed place within my heart is where you'll always stay.

I miss you. Everyday. I would give anything to have spent your birthday with you today instead of dealing with all the family drama that went on.

Bailey was very sweet to studley today. I know it made you happy.

Its amazing how much life can change when you lose someone, but everything around you keeps going like nothing happened.

The girls miss you, and they love to look at pictures of you, and watch that video of you playing the accordion. Bailey calls it " Nana's heaven."

Happy birthday Angela.

My quote for the month.....

2011-02-08T23:59:00.000-08:00

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout.....

"This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole COMPLEX package. Take me, or leave me. Accept me, or walk away. DO NOT try to make me feel like less of a person just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be. And do not try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I ALONE will make that decision."

Miss you.....

2010-12-11T09:57:00.001-08:00

I never knew it was possible to miss someone so much.

To just want to sit and talk to someone so bad that it hurts. (We had some of the best conversations, I could always be myself and say anything, you always accepted me.)

To want to give someone a hug so bad it makes you ache. (You gave great hugs, not the fake soft hugs, the good hugs, where you squeeze)

To want to call you and talk to you about all the drama that has happened since you left, just to hear what you would say about it all. What you would think about everything that is going on.

Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could talk to you or spend time with you.

Not a Friday goes by where I don't expect a call from you asking what I want for lunch before you come over. Or if the kids have had lunch yet, and if not what you should get them.

Not a day goes by where I don't miss seeing my kids excited faces when I tell them that Nana is going to come over to play......

Every time I put my sunglasses on I think of you....

I miss you. And everyday I wonder when I will get to the point where it doesn't hurt quite so bad.....

Happy turkey/tofurkey day :-)

2010-11-25T11:04:00.000-08:00

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

RIP.....

2010-07-29T23:24:00.001-07:00

You are loved more then you will ever know, and you will be GREATLY missed!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

Homeless and pregnant.

2010-05-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Just watched this show on TLC. And I have to say I have never felt more sad or depressed in my entire life.
I cannot imagine having to go through a pregnancy and not have a home. Not having a shower, or a bed, or a room or crib for your baby. Having to sleep in a tent everynight, and having to clean yourself in stream water. All the while knowing that if you don't find a home for yourself and your baby, the state will most likely take your new baby away from you.

Its just so sad to me and it makes my heart ache because I know there are so many people in the world with those same circumstances. I wish I could just help everyone so no one ever had to go through that. I know the next time I think my life is hard, all I have to do is think of this show. The smallest things that we take for granted, having a toilet, or a shower, or a bed, are things people have to go without.

May 26th, 2010

2010-05-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

Came home early today cause I wasnt feelin too great. Kinda wish I was sick more often and still got paid the same amount cause I totally loved being home a couple hours earlier than normal. I love coming home and being greeted by Bailey's hugs, Addison yelling, "Hi Dada" and getting a nice and loving compassion hug from my beautiful bride. Today was a day where I was able to soak in all the things I am grateful for. In spite of dealing with normal day to day problems that so often drive and split famlies apart, I find myself feeling so blessed and lucky to have what I have. Its silly for me to get worked up about not having certain things in life. But the reality of it is, that things are just things and can easilly be replaced or purchased. A loving family to come home to cant so easily be found. I may not have be filthy rich and have wads of cash falling out of my pocket, but I am more rich than I could ever imagine.

Just me.

2010-04-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

People often times ask, say, or mention that they think that I am too negative. And I would have to agree, sometimes.
In a world filled with murder, and children who don't have food, and war, and sickness, and death, and so on where do you find the balance between feeling the negative, doing what you can to help, and being grateful for what you have? Everyday I find myself struggling with that. Most days I am wonderful and happy and grateful for everything that I have, and couldn't ask for more. Some days I find myself so consumed with trying to find something I can do to make a difference in the world, or make a difference in someones life. And yes, every once in a while I find myself feeling sorry for myself wishing that I had more money, or more material things, and so on.
I've just now come to the conclusion that that is the balance. You need to strive to make a difference where you can, be grateful for all that you have, and yes, sometimes, it is even okay to feel sorry for yourself, so long as you don't let that be the majority of what you think about.
I have a wonderful family, a great and supportive husband, and BEAUTIFUL children. I am truly blessed even though sometimes I struggle to see that. It is so easy to be negative in today's world, with all the bad things that happen or that can happen, and all the sad things that you see everyday. Life is a beautiful, ugly, happy, sad, wonderful journey. You just have to take it one day at a time and do everything you can to make every second of everyday count.
I am grateful for EVERYTHING in my life, all the good, bad, sad, and happy. Everything that you go through makes you a stronger person.

I love everyone in my life, whatever role you may play. People are wonderful, amazing creatures. And as I go through life trying to figure everything out, I hope that people can be as understanding to me as I would be to them.

Breakfast at McDonalds.

2009-12-23T09:18:00.001-08:00

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.. Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began t o back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford.. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.' I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..' We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?' I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

New......... :)

2009-10-02T15:54:00.000-07:00

Our new puppy!! Just got her today. She is about 10 weeks old! :-D Doesn't have a name yet...any ideas?

09/09/09

2009-09-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

Got married last night. Pictures to come...... :)

Sick :(

2009-08-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well, this week didn't start out great. Sunday night I was starting to feel a little under the weather, by Monday morning I had a HORRIBLE cold, fever, achy, bad cough, stuffy nose. It has been horrible. I tried my hardest to keep my hands clean, and not breath on my kids or anything, but my efforts failed. Tuesday morning Bailey woke up with a very runny nose, fever, and that awful cough.

So again, I tried really hard to keep Bailey and Addison away from each other. Tried to keep their toys separate, and tried to keep everything as clean and sanitized as I could. And again, my efforts failed. Wednesday Morning Addison woke up with the same fever, runny nose, and awful cough :( I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that Zach doesn't get sick too. Cause this is an awful cold!

On a happier note, Bailey starts going to preschool on the 24th! I'm so excited because I think it will be really good for her. But at the same time it makes me a little sad, she is growing up so fast! Before I know it she will be in elementary school, then junior high, Ahhh!

When people decide to have kids, I don't think they think about things like, your kids going to school, and making friends, and dating, and moving out, and not needing you as much. Its happy and sad all in one! I love my girls though! I don't know where I would be without them.

Okay...

2009-08-12T04:49:00.000-07:00

Really am going private now. If you have any interest, leave me your email address :)

PICTURES!!

2009-07-31T18:09:00.000-07:00

Coming soon....

2009-07-06T23:44:00.001-07:00

Updates and pictures! :-)

Just wanted to say...

2009-05-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

To everyone I've ever met, To every member of my family, To all my friends, past, present, and future: You have all affected my life in one way or another, whether it good or bad, happy or sad, whatever, you've all made me who I am today. Thanks. And I love you all.

Lucky.

2009-04-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

I know many people have been feeling the money crunch lately. And we are one of them. It's funny how when one thing goes wrong, everything just feels like it is spinning out of control. Money is tight, Times are tough, my kids are difficult. But at the end of the day, I know everything will be okay. And I am lucky in so many ways. :)

So as hard as things can be sometimes, I just need to always remember that I have my two beautiful girls, a great guy, awesome helpful parents, and a roof over our heads. Thats all I need at the end of the day.

The search for a binki...

2009-04-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

Alright, I swear Bailey has got to have at LEAST ten binkis in this house. I see them all over all day long, but as soon as bed time comes I can't find one ANYWHERE! I think we have a binki gremlin.

Yeah...

2009-04-18T22:10:00.001-07:00

I think I'm going to go private too. Thinking of some random strangers reading about me and my family is a little unsettling.

So email addys :)

Simple vs. Real

2009-04-07T00:56:00.000-07:00

A simple friend can stand by you when you are right,

but a real friend will stand by you even when you are wrong.

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.

A real friend doesn't have to.

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.

A real friend says, "What's new with you?"

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.

A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."

A simple friend has never seen you cry.

A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.

A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.

A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.

A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.

A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.

A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.

A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself/herself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.

A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Poor Bailey... And Addison

2009-04-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

Hasn't been the easiest week, both the girls had a bit of a cold. I think they are finally turning the corner though, which is wonderful!! It's sad when little kids and babies get sick, they are so helpless.

Anywho, also sad for bailey, she has recently come to love the changing table. She throws everything off the shelves and climbs up on them and lays down (kids are so easily entertained!) and kicks the shelf above her. It is funny. Back to the point, today we had to bring the changing table back to Zachs aunt who was letting us use it. As Zach was carrying it out the door bailey got this sad sad look on her face and she started crying. She stood in the doorway and continued to cry and watch Zach carry it out to the car. :-( broke my heart a little. So now we are on the hunt for a changing table/ dresser or something fun to put in that corner.

That was the most eventful things so far this week, even though it was sad. Tomorrow should be fun, we are going to "grampas" house for his birthday dinner. Bailey LOVES grampa, he is her favorite person. So hopefully that will make losing her "toy" today better.

Hope all is well with everyone :)

Oh, Bailey!

2009-03-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

So last night Bailey spent the night at my dads house. We went over there at about 11:00pm to pick up Addison, Bailey had fallen asleep on the couch. We gave her a kiss, got the diaper bag, and headed home. After we left my dad picked up Bailey and brought her into the spare room where he had set up the little air mattress. About 3 or 4 in the morning he went in to check on her, she was fine, still asleep and laying on the bed.

Then about 7 am he went in to check on her, and she wasn't on the bed or in the spare room. As any parent or grandparent would, I'm sure he panicked. So he walked around the upper floor looking for her, and she was back on the couch where she had fallen asleep. Now, keep in mind the she is only 2, and the only light that was on was the light in her room and the light below the microwave in the kitchen. So sometime between 4 and 7 she woke up, carried both blankets back to the couch, climbed up and went back to sleep in the exact same spot that she fell asleep in earlier that night.

I've was laughing pretty hard when my dad told me that story!

Earth Hour!!

2009-03-28T03:16:00.000-07:00

I know I'm going to participate!! What about you??

Remember When...

2009-03-27T00:39:00.000-07:00

remember when...

this could be interesting...

1.) As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember.

2.) Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

Well, I think it's offical...

2009-03-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

For about the last two weeks Bailey has stopped taking naps during the day.... No more one or two hours of "mommy time" during the day anymore :(

Congrats to my cousin Rebekah & her husband

2009-03-13T01:02:00.000-07:00

Congrats to my cousin Rebekah & her husband Mike on the arrival of their handsome little boy! Mikey 8 lbs 1 oz 20.5 in.

Congrats to my cousin Ben!

2009-03-13T00:59:00.000-07:00

Congrats to my cousin Ben and his girlfriend on the birth of their beautiful little girl! :)
Gabriella 6 lbs 15 oz 20 in.

Ant

2009-03-13T00:38:00.001-07:00

I know I write about my kids a lot, and I'm sorry if that bothers some people. But this story is funny lol!

Tonight as I was getting Addison ready for bed, Bailey was in the kitchen sitting on the floor talking, so I went into the kitchen to see what she was doing. She was on all fours with her face about 3 inches away from the floor, so I sat down next to her and saw that there was a very small black ant crawling around the floor. She was calling it a person till I corrected her, then she would point at it and say "ant, ant." then she would hold her hand out and lay it out flat on the floor trying to pick it up, but in reality just smooshing it.

Then she got up and got her snack and her drink, came back and started laying her lil crunchies on the floor by the ant saying "eat". Then she would tilt her cup on its side trying to give the ant a drink. At one point the ant climed onto one of her crunchies and it bothered her so she tried to get it off, and ended up wiping it on her pants. After that I couldn't find the ant, so I think the crunchie smoosh did him in. Poor little ant lol.

She is such a funny girl. I love it! She is growing up so fast it makes me a little sad from time to time. She is actually sleeping in a "big girl" bed for the first time tonight. It took about two hours to get her to finally go to sleep though. :-)

(You can see in the picture her snacks all over the floor and her holding a crunchie and trying to feed the ant)

Salt...salty?

2009-03-10T23:01:00.000-07:00

Completely random, and I don't know what made me think of this, but,
how do you describe the taste of salt without using the word salt or salty?

:-$

2009-03-06T07:13:00.001-08:00

Getting my wisdom teeth taken out today.... Pretty nervous about it...

Parents

2009-03-05T14:02:00.000-08:00

My parents are awesome!!! I love them.

Odd.

2009-03-03T13:55:00.000-08:00

Got this by e-mail..not sure if they are all true, but they are ALL interesting!

1.) A shrimp's heart is in its head.

2.) The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.

3.) Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

4.) Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

5.) If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969 make it illegal for U. S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

6.) In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

7.) A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

8.) 23% of all photocopier faults world-wide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

9.) Most lipstick contains fish scales

10.) Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

11.) If you sneeze too hard you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force they can pop out.

12.) In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.

13.) It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

14.) A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

15.) More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

16.) Horses can't vomit.

17.) Butterflies taste with their feet.

18.) In 10 minutes, a category three hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

19.) On average 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

20.) On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

21.) Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

22.) Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

23.) Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

24.) Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

25.) It's possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.

26.) Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

27.) It is physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

28.) The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

29.) A snail can sleep for three years.

30.) No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

31.) Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

32.) The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

33.) All polar bears are left handed.

34.) In ancient Egypt , priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

35.) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

36.) TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

37.) "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

38.) If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand 7 feet, 2 inches tall.

39.) A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

40.) The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

41.) Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

42.) Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.

ha ha ha ha!

2009-03-02T22:07:00.000-08:00

Oh my, my kids are so freaking funny!!!

After we got both kids ready for bed we were all laying down on my bed. Bailey was just being a goober and bouncing and playing, then Addison started to get a little fussy. So she let out a pretty loud scream, then bailey copied her. And they just went back and forth taking turns screaming. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen them do together!

Crappy camera, but cute pictures!

2009-03-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

I know my camera phone sucks, but I still think these pictures are cute!!!

I love this goober face!

2009-03-01T02:19:00.000-08:00

She is such a funny child.

It is so weird how different siblings can be. For instance, when bailey was a baby, she LOOOVED to be in her swing or her bouncy chair, she loved to be talked to and played with. If I had to lay her down for a minute, or put her in her swing so I could do some dishes or something, she would be fine.

But Addison HAAATES her swing, her bouncy chair, and being left alone. It's almost funny. I can put her in her swing and she will be fine as long as I am talking to her and smiling. But the second I turn my head she screams. If your not right in her face, talking and playing, and smiling, then she isn't happy.

Now things that bailey didn't like, bailey HATED to be swaddled. She would freak out if her arms weren't free. So we never swaddled her. Addison on the other hand, has to be swaddled. It is the only way to get her to go to sleep because she moves her arms so much it keeps her awake.

One similarity with them is they both had to be on sensitive formula because they have such sensitive stomachs, and would get horrible gas. And they both LOVE LOVE LOVE their binkis!

I love being a mom, it's such a blast. I can't wait to see how different our next child will be. :)

Awww Bailey...

2009-03-01T02:16:00.000-08:00

Oh I've forgotten how little she was. She was (and is) so cute!! I miss her being that small sometimes. Having kids is amazing! I love it. Can't (but can) wait to have more!

"Swimming, Pool, Water, Grampa!"

2009-02-28T11:20:00.000-08:00

Usually on saturdays "Grampa" comes over to get bailey to go swimming. Bailey gets so excited when she knows she gets to go swimming. She hurries and gets dressed, and says her "bye bye" and "I love you" very excitedly.

After packing her diaper bag, getting her dressed, and saying bye bye today, I watched her and my dad walk out to the car. I just can't get over how dang cute she is. She is so funny, and adorable. I am soooo lucky to have her!! (And Addison too!!!)

2009-02-28T01:33:00.000-08:00

Oh how true this is. LOL :)

Random...

2009-02-20T00:22:00.000-08:00

This one's easier...actually gives you the questions to fill out...instead of coming up with everything yourself!

001. Real name → Kacie Dawne Cooper

002. Nickname(s)→ Don't really have any

003. Zodiac sign → Sagittarius

004. Male or female → Female

005. Elementary → West Field

006. Middle School →Mt. Ridge

007. High School → Lone peak

008. Hair color → Natural- dark brown, but right now its dark red

009. Long or short → Long

010. Loud or Quiet → Depends

011. Sweats or Jeans → Sweats

012. Phone or Camera → Both

013. Health freak → Not really, prob should be

015. Do you have a crush on someone? → No

016. Favorite place to be?→ With people I love

017. Piercings → Ears, tongue

018. Tattoos → two

HAVE YOU EVER?

019. Been in an airplane→ yes

020. Been in a relationship → yes

021. Been in a car accident → yes, i totaled my first car the first day i had it.

022. Been in a fist fight → no

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing → Ears

024. First best friend → Kaycee

025. First award → ?

026. First crush -> Shawn (Don't remember his last name)

028. First big vacation → visiting family in maine

LASTS:

029. Last person you talked to → my dad

030. Last person you texted → Breana

031. Last person you watched a movie with → Zach

032. Last food you ate → A mini bagel

033. Last movie you watched → ummm, don't know.

034. Last song you listened to → I don't know, but i have that "rain drops keep falling on my head" song stuck in my head, and i have no idea why

035. Last thing you bought → baby wipes

036. Last person you hugged → Bailey

FAVES:

037. Food → Italian, American, (some) mexican

038. Drinks → milk, water

039. Clothing →don't have a favorite

040. Books → I can't remember the last time i had time to read a book

041. Music → depends on my mood

042. Flower → lillys, and daises

043. Colors → again, kinda depends on my mood

044. Movies--> I have a lot of favorite

045. Positions → ha nice try.

046. Subjects → English, history, photography

CURRENTLY:

067. Eating → Nothing

068. Drinking → nothing

069. I'm about to → go to bed

070. Listening to → scrubs

071. Plans for today→the days over...bed.

072. Waiting for→ nothing right now

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → I have two girls, i wouldn't mind one or two more

074. Want to get married? → yeah

075. Careers in mind → I want to be a midwife

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?

076. Lips or eyes →Eyes

077. Shorter or taller? → taller

078. Romantic or spontaneous → spontaneously romantic lol

079. Nice stomach or nice arms → arms

080. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive

081. Hook-up or relationship → relationship

082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → A little of both

HAVE YOU EVER:

083. Lost glasses/contacts → dont need them

084. Ran away from home → no

085. Held a gun/knife for self defense → no

086. Killed somebody → no!

087. Broken someone's heart → i don't know to be honest...

088. Been arrested → NO

089. Cried when someone died → Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

090. Yourself → Yes

091. Miracles → everyday

092. Love at first sight → Yes

093. Heaven → yes

094. Santa Claus → no but it would be nice to!

095. Destiny - not sure

096. Kiss on the first date → depends on the date.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → For the most part, yes.

099. Do you believe in God → Yes

100. Will you tag 15 people? → no, whoever wants to do it can do it lol :)

Been a while. . .

2009-02-20T00:09:00.000-08:00

It's been a little while since my last blog. Our internet was shut off for a while, but YAY it's back on :) Don't really have anything too exciting to write about tonight... so I'll just post a few new pictures.

Random things about me :)

2009-02-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I HATE going to the dentist. I would rather give birth to another child then go to the dentist.
2. I enjoy helping people in anyway that i can.
3. I eat the toppings off of my pizza, then i eat the pizza.
4. I love taking pictures.
5. I am a good listener.
6. I want to be a nurse midwife.
7. I love doing nice things for the people i love and care about.
8. I LOVE to color. lol.
9. After I eat cereal, i don't drink the milk that is left in the bowl.
10. When I take baths it never lasts more then 10-15 minutes.
11. I love hard boiled eggs, but the only time i ever crave them is at night.
12. I probably have more shampoo & conditioner then most normal people have (currently i have like 6 different kinds)
13. I've been with Zach for 1,120 days. In that time we have moved 4 times (5 times after we move in April), and had two kids.
14. Death scares me.
15. I hate shopping for clothes.
16. Going grocery shopping at night is usually my little get away & alone time for the day.
17. I love my kids, they are so fun.
18. I HATE the smell of wine.
19. kiwis are my favorite fruit.
20. I hate when i feel judged by people who don't really know me.
21. I get stressed out easily when my kids get sick, or something is wrong.
22. My body was made for giving birth.
23. I want to travel someday.
24. I love dying my hair.
25. I can't wait to have my own house someday, the whole apartment thing is fun, but it gets old.

BoNuS

26. (This started while I was pregnant with bailey) every once in a while i like to dip my salt and vinegar chips in vinegar. lol

People.

2009-02-03T01:14:00.000-08:00

I was watching the latest episode of the office tonight. First off, I am a fan of that show and I do think it is funny. But there was one part in this episode that made me sad.

About half way through the episode Michael (The boss) hosts a roast. Where everyone in the office makes fun of him, or says the things they hate about him, whatever. And watching that part kinda brought up some not so good memories for me. In Junior high- High school, I was what most kids would call a "loser". I was made fun of a lot, people were mean to me, talked bad about me behind my back, would make up rumors about me, and never take the chance to get to know me. Even when I would try to talk to people, or be nice, I would get turned down and made fun of even more.

I think that is a big part of the reason why I am always so hard on myself, and why I have a very low self esteem. And it got me to thinking:
Everyone has flaws, no one is perfect. So what place does ANYONE have to judge anyone? It feels so wrong to me to judge, make fun of, or be mean to someone who doesn't have nice clothes, or who isn't the most attractive person, or who is overweight, or underweight, or anything.

Makes me think of the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover." And that is so true to me. You can't know who someone is by what they are wearing, or what color their skin is, or their weight, or how pretty or ugly they are. You have to "Open the book, and read what's inside." Take the time to get to know someone, learn about their life, their likes and dislikes. The struggles, and triumphs that they have had in life. More often then not, if you take the time to do that, you would probably like the person.

The point I am trying to make is, get off your high horse and give people a chance. Everyone deserves a chance. I make it a point to not judge people, to try to talk to people and get to know them. I love people, I love having friends, I love being the person that people can go to and say whatever is on their mind and not worry about being judged. I love the friends that I have, And I do my best to show them that, and be there for them when no one else will be.

That is one thing that I really want to instill in my girls. I don't ever want my girls to be mean, or judgmental, or treat people the way that I got treated a lot during school. I want my girls to be the Fun, Sweet, Kind people that everyone loves. That is rare to find in people these days, but I hope to be able to raise them well enough, so that when they start going to school, and making friends, that they will give everyone a chance.

Pictures. Some Old, Some new.

2009-01-29T15:49:00.000-08:00

Things I have read and wanted to share...

2009-01-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop
quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the
questions, until I read the last one: 'What is the first name of
the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke.
I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired
and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper,
leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student
asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
Absolutely, said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many
people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if
all you do is smile and say hello". I've never forgotten that lesson. I
also learned her name was Dorothy.

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands

lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.

And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.

"Somebody"Said...

… a mother is an unskilled laborer.
"Somebody" never gave a squirmy infant a bath.

... you know how to be a mother by instinct.
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

... that "good" mothers never yell at their kids.
Somebody's child never sent a baseball through a neighbor's picture window.

... a mother can End all the answers to her child-rearing questions in books.
Somebody never had a child stuff beans in his nose.

... a mother always adores her children.
Somebody never tried to comfort a colicky baby at 3 a.m.

... a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.
Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies into a cookie-selling brigade.

... the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.

... your mother knows you love her, so you don't have to tell her.
Somebody isn't a mother.

-Renee Hawkley in Welcome Home

The society we live in is pathetic!

2009-01-28T14:56:00.000-08:00

And people wonder why girls decide to become anorexic or bulimic. They see stars like this being called fat. Now yes, she is not a stick like she usually is but she is NOT fat. It just kills me that people think that is fat. And it is so sad to me that this is all our society cares about, what you look like. There is so much more to a person then just their weight. Believe me I know, I've had my struggles with weight, but my weight is not ALL there is to me. I am a mother, I am a friend, I am a good listener, I care about people, I love doing nice things for people, And yet, more often then not, people don't care to look past my weight. They see an overweight girl. Doesn't matter how nice or kind or giving i am, I'm fat. So that means I'm not worth getting to know, I'm not worth being friends with. It's PATHETIC. So, if you are one of those people who just judge a book by its cover, and not by whats inside, SHAME on you for being so shallow and closed minded.

Yes i know, I'm rating, but it is something that bothers me and I had to get it out.

New Life

2009-01-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

Congrats to my cousin Kristen & her family on their newest arrival! She is beautiful!
Sydney Marie Baker
7 lb. 10 oz. 18 inches

Two year olds!!!

2009-01-16T19:16:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong, two year olds are so cute and so much fun. But along with that, comes the two year old attitude! Baileys favorite word to everything today has been "NO!". Her face in all of these pictures just captures her mood today perfectly! (Yes, they are old pictures, but they fit.)

Cute! Cute!

2009-01-14T22:15:00.000-08:00

I realize I may have already posted some of these pictures, sorry. But they are just so cute! :) Addison is giggling now, it is adorable. And bailey gives Addison kisses! I love it! I know the majority of my posts are about my kids, but when you have kids they become your life :) Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

planning a wedding...

2009-01-13T22:35:00.000-08:00

Is A LOT of friggin work lol! :) So many things to do and decisions to make!

Children...

2009-01-12T12:36:00.001-08:00

I don't think I have ever been so stressed out or frustrated with my child. Having a two year old can be hard enough most days, but add not drinking milk and being a picky eater on top of that, and its almost too much to handle. I have been worried about her eating lately. She will not drink milk in ANY form. I've tried pretty much everything to get her to drink it and she won't. And she won't eat veggies anymore, and will only eat fruit sometimes. There really isn't much you can do about it either, its not like you can force a two year old to do anything, let alone eat. You just have to keep offering things over, and over and hope and pray that they will eat it.

So by that, i think you can tell how my day is going :) I love Bailey, and don't know what I would do without her, but MAN I wish she would eat better and DRINK MILK!

Body worlds 3

2009-01-10T23:09:00.000-08:00

Finally had the chance to go to the body worlds museum. Despite having to stand in line for two hours, because it ends on Sunday, it was amazing. I am so glad that I had the chance to go. The human body really is an amazing thing. I had a hard time with the whole baby section. Seeing something as small as a bean, that already has fingers. And then seeing a baby at 13 weeks, and 24 weeks, and 32 weeks. It was just sad to me. But all in all it was great and I am glad I got to go.

Family...

2009-01-09T10:27:00.000-08:00

Since I have had kids I have thought a lot about family, and the importance of family. Having a family that loves and supports you means the world. I have wonderful parents, who have helped me out a lot. And I love and appreciate them for that!

My parents were born and raised in Maine, so that is where all of my moms and dads family live (well pretty much all). I don't get to visit as much as I'd like to. Which makes me sad. Sometimes I wonder how different it would have been to grow up with all my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. And, yes, I will admit that I am jealous of my cousins that got to grow up with all of that. Which is why it is important to me that I am close with the family that live close to me, and to have a big family of my own. I'm not talking like 12 kids, no no no. But I would be happy with four, possibly five. As hard as it is to have kids, I love it. And I do want more.

Sorry if I ramble or don't make sense, it's just something I wanted to get out. :) The point I am trying to make is, Love and cherish the family that you have. I would have a lonely life if I didn't have my family. I love them ALL!

09/09/09

2009-01-08T11:15:00.001-08:00

Is the day that Zach and I will (finally, yes, i know) get married. And I am conflicted. I don't know if i want to have a nice wedding and the reception and all that, or if i should just do something small and take the money that would have been spent on a wedding for a down payment on a house, or new car.

I was thinking about it last night, and in some ways i would love to have the whole wedding shebang. The pretty dress, and flowers, and the reception and all that. I mean, I never went to prom or any dances at school or anything like that, so in a way, this would be my chance to get all pretty and have a day about me. But at the same time, with divorced parents, it is hard for everyone to get along. Someone wants to plan this or that, but the other person does, and then it just ends up being a mess and people end up not getting along. So being the overly sensitive person that I am, I don't want there to be any conflict, or fighting between anyone. So I'm stumped. I don't know what to do...?

Any thoughts?

Joys of being a Mother!

2009-01-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

Things that change when you have a baby...
1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
4. You respect your body ... finally.
5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
9. Your heart breaks much more easily.
10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.
11. Every day is a surprise.
12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
14. You become a morning person.
15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

Quotes on motherhood "Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." --Elizabeth Stone "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." --Washington Irving

"I am not a perfect mother and I will never be.
You are not a perfect daughter and you will never be.
But put us together and we will be the best mother and daughter we would ever be.
Zoraida Pesante

"A mother is someone who dreams great dreams for you,
but then she lets you chase the
dreams you have for yourself and loves you just the same."
Author Unknown

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." -- Agatha Christie "Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." -- Lin Yutang

Being a mother is an excitement and enticement and a growth. It is the possibility that haunts and delights the young girl as she grows to womanhood. It is a part of the fantasy, both her longing for it and her fear of it. The months of pregnancy highlight all the richness of the remembered and internalized experience about mothering. The birth itself brings forth the baby, until now a fantasy, into reality. This real baby is a constant changing, crying, knowing being, and for me the delight of this experience has been one of the most important parts of my life as a women. -Dr. Beverley Raphael

Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own. -Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

When I pick up one of my children and cuddle them, all the strain and stress of life temporarily disappears. There is nothing more wonderful than motherhood and no one will ever love you as much as a small child. -Nicola Horlick

Many people have said to me 'What a pity you had such a big family to raise. Think of the novels and the short stories and the poems you never had time to write because of that.' And I looked at my children and I said, 'These are my poems. These are my short stories.' -Olga Masters

I just woke up today feeling very grateful and blessed to be able to have children and to be a mother. It is such an amazing gift!

Just a few more pictures...

2009-01-06T00:34:00.000-08:00

New Year!

2009-01-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it is already a new year. Last year went by so fast, especially with how much happened. Bailey is already two, and Addison is two months old (seems like just yesterday i had them.) The life of a full time stay at home mom is crazy, tiring, frustrating, amazing, fun, and rewarding all rolled into one. And as hard as it can be sometimes, i wouldn't trade it for anything! Bailey is such a fun, funny, beautiful little girl with such a fun, unique, spunky personality. She makes everyday more interesting, fun, and enjoyable. Addison grows more and more everyday. Her personality is starting to emerge. It's funny to me how her and bailey look nothing alike. One major thing, bailey has dark brown hair, and Addisons hair stared out the same, but it is now turning blond. Which is funny to me, because Zach and I have ALWAYS had brown hair. Hair color aside, she is a beautiful little girl with such a cute smile, and these giant blue eyes! I can't wait for her to get bigger, and more playful and interactive. To learn her likes and dislikes like I have learned baileys. I love my girls more then words can describe. It is going to be a long, crazy journey, and I am going to love and cherish every second!!

Resolutions/goals for 2009:
Say "I love you" more to the people in my life that I love.
Be the Best mother I can be.
Exercise more, and eat better.
Potty train bailey :)
Read more books Look into nursing school (I want to be a nurse midwife. Aside from being a mother, I think that is my calling)
Start taking pictures again!

I will try to keep on top of this and keep it updated! Love you all and Hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and new years!

21...

2008-12-16T08:54:00.001-08:00

Turned 21 yesterday. It's kind of weird to think I am already that old. If when I was 16 you would have told me i would have two kids by now, i wouldn't have believed you.
Life is great though. Have a great fiance, and two wonderful fun little girls. Can't imagine my life without them :)

a few pictures of my little family :)

2008-11-11T21:36:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pictures of my little family. I'll do my best to keep you all updated with pictures and all.

since everyone else has one...

2008-11-11T21:27:00.000-08:00

Figured I might as well take a little time to make one of these, seeing as how most of my friends and family have one. :)
Will update with pictures soon!