7/29/2010

I can't believe it has already been a year, seems like it was just yesterday that you passed on. And yet, at the same time, it seems like it has been so much longer...So much has happened in the last year. So much has changed. So many people have changed, some for the better, some not so much.

There has been a lot of family drama. That is one of the times I missed you most. I always felt so comfortable talking to you, you never judged me. I could say anything to you and know that nothing I said could change how you saw me, or what you thought of me. You always loved me unconditionally, and my kids too.

So often I hear from friends and other family members on how much they hate their in-laws....(Most of the time the mother in law or the father in law...) I consider myself really lucky to be able to say I really loved my mother in law. I really enjoyed spending time with her. I enjoyed how excited my kids would get when I would tell them Nana was coming over. I loved watching her interact with my kids. Not many people can say that, but I'm really glad that I can.

And all those things that I loved the most about her, are the things I miss the most. Those are the things that still feel fresh like you just passed away yesterday. I know everyone says "it gets better with time." But I don't know if I agree with that. I don't think it ever gets better, I don't think it ever hurts any less, how much you miss them never changes. But somehow or another things just keep going. And you get to the point that you realize that you have to sort of let it go, not think about it all the time. Learn the right times to think about that person. Times when you can freely let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel. But so many people just tuck it away and never deal with it because its too hard or painful to think about.

It is hard to think about. I miss you a lot, A LOT. I would give anything to be able to spend one more Friday with you, anything to be able to tell my kids that nana is coming over to see them and play with them. But that's the cruel part of life, people get ripped away and that's it. But that is life.

I miss you Angela. I know your better off where you are. And your happy and free of any and every worry. So I'm happy for you, I'm happy that you are happy. It doesn't make it any easier for us back here who miss you, but that doesn't change my happiness for you. I love you. And Bailey and Addie love you.... And Zach, and Studley (He probably misses you the most, lol ;-)) Keep an eye on us, keep an eye on my kids. We'll see you again someday.........

Til then,
Kacie.......